Sometimes One Hour Doesn’t Feel Like Enough
Some couples need more time.
You may have waited months—or years—to talk about what is happening between you. There may be a betrayal, longstanding conflict, emotional distance, grief, or a difficult decision that cannot easily be understood in a single conversation.
In a traditional couples therapy session, we may just begin reaching something important when it is time to stop.
For some couples, meeting for longer periods creates the space to slow down, move beyond the surface of an argument, and work more deeply with what is happening between you.
I offer several ways of working with couples:
120-minute extended sessions
Blocks of 2–3 extended sessions
Couples therapy intensives
You do not necessarily need a full intensive to benefit from having more time.
Sometimes, two uninterrupted hours—or several longer sessions scheduled close together—can create the space you need to do deeper work without feeling rushed.
I am a licensed psychologist and Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist with nearly 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, relationships, attachment, betrayal, grief, and trauma.
Why Longer Couples Therapy Sessions?
Couples therapy is different from many forms of individual therapy.
Important moments often happen between partners during the session.
We may begin with an argument about something that happened during the week. As we slow it down, we begin recognizing the familiar pattern underneath it.
Then something changes.
Anger begins to reveal hurt.
Defensiveness begins to reveal fear of failure.
Withdrawal begins to make sense as protection.
A partner who has been criticizing may finally be able to say:
“I have been so angry because I don’t know how to tell you how afraid I am of losing you.”
These moments cannot always be scheduled neatly into the last ten minutes of a therapy hour.
A longer session gives us time not only to reach the deeper emotional experience, but also to stay with it.
We have more time to understand what is happening, help you communicate it differently, allow your partner to respond, and work with what happens next.
The work can feel less rushed and more complete.
Different Ways to Work More Intensively
Not every couple needs the same amount of time.
Some couples benefit from weekly therapy. Others find that longer sessions or a concentrated period of therapy allows them to engage more deeply.
These are not different therapies.
They are different ways of creating enough time for the therapeutic work.
Option 1: 120-Minute Extended Couples Sessions
For many couples, a two-hour session offers an excellent middle ground between traditional weekly therapy and a full couples intensive.
The additional time gives us room to move beyond simply reviewing what happened since the last appointment.
We can slow an interaction down, understand the emotional pattern underneath it, work with the feelings that emerge, and give both partners time to respond.
A 120-minute session can be particularly helpful when:
- Your conflicts are complicated and take time to understand
- Much of a standard session is spent explaining what happened
- Important conversations repeatedly feel unfinished
- There has been a betrayal or significant relationship injury
- You are working through grief or trauma together
- You have demanding schedules and prefer fewer, longer appointments
- You want to work more deeply without committing to a full intensive
Some couples choose 120-minute sessions regularly.
Others use them periodically when there is something particularly important they want to address.
Longer does not necessarily mean more emotionally intense. It means we have more room to work at the pace the conversation requires rather than at the pace dictated by the clock.
Option 2: A Block of 2–3 Extended Sessions
Some couples want more momentum than weekly therapy provides but do not need a full intensive.
For these couples, two or three extended sessions scheduled relatively close together can provide an effective middle ground.
This format allows each meeting to build on the one before it.
Instead of spending part of every session reconnecting with where we left off, we can maintain continuity and move more deeply into the relationship pattern.
A block of sessions might allow us to:
Understand the Pattern
What happens when the two of you become disconnected?
What triggers the cycle?
What does each partner do to protect themselves?
Explore What Is Underneath It
What are the fears, hurts, longings, and relationship needs that become difficult to communicate once the cycle takes over?
Begin Creating Different Conversations
Can one partner risk reaching differently?
Can the other stay emotionally present and respond differently?
Can you begin having an experience with each other that does not end in the same familiar place?
Why Couples May Prefer This Format
There is less pressure to accomplish everything in one meeting.
We know there is another extended session coming soon.
That allows us to stay with something important rather than rushing toward a conclusion because the session is ending.
At the same time, scheduling the sessions relatively close together helps maintain momentum.
For some couples, this balance feels exactly right:
More depth than a traditional weekly session.
More continuity between meetings.
Less feeling of being rushed.
Without committing to a full intensive.
Option 3: Couples Therapy Intensives
For couples who want or need a more concentrated therapeutic experience, I also offer couples therapy intensives.
An intensive involves setting aside a substantial block of protected time specifically for your relationship rather than spreading the work across many weekly appointments.
Depending on the couple and the circumstances, an intensive may involve multiple extended sessions over one or more days.
Having this concentrated time allows us to understand your relationship pattern in greater depth and work directly with important emotional experiences without repeatedly stopping and restarting the process.
An intensive can be particularly useful when:
- You feel stuck in a longstanding negative cycle
- A betrayal or significant relationship injury has deeply affected the relationship
- You have become emotionally disconnected
- Weekly therapy has felt too fragmented
- You have limited availability for regular weekly sessions
- You travel frequently
- You are navigating an important relationship transition
- You want to dedicate concentrated time to understanding your relationship
- You have previously done couples therapy but continue returning to the same patterns
Choosing an intensive does not necessarily mean your relationship is in greater trouble.
Sometimes it simply reflects the way you prefer to work.
Some couples would rather set aside meaningful, protected time and go deeply into the work than try to fit their relationship into one hour each week.
What Happens During Extended or Intensive EFT Couples Therapy?
My work is grounded primarily in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT).
EFT helps us understand the emotional pattern that develops when partners begin feeling disconnected or unsafe with each other.
One partner may become angry, critical, questioning, or demanding.
The other may defend, shut down, or withdraw.
Over time, the cycle becomes increasingly automatic.
During longer sessions, we have time to slow these interactions down.
We can look at what triggers the cycle.
What happens inside each of you.
What you do next.
How your partner interprets your reaction.
And how both of you end up in a place neither of you wanted to go.
Then we begin working with what is underneath those protective responses.
The goal is not simply to understand your relationship intellectually.
The deeper work is helping you experience each other differently.
For more about the approach and current research supporting EFT:
LEARN MORE ABOUT EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED COUPLES THERAPY
Extended Sessions After Betrayal
Betrayal is one situation in which couples often appreciate having more time.
After an affair or another significant breach of trust, conversations can become emotionally intense very quickly.
The injured partner may have questions, anger, grief, and a powerful need to understand what happened.
The partner who caused the injury may feel shame, fear, defensiveness, or helplessness.
Trying to address these experiences while watching the clock can be difficult.
Longer sessions give us more time to slow the conversation down and work with what is happening emotionally rather than ending just as something important emerges.
That does not mean betrayal can be repaired in one long meeting.
It cannot.
But extended work can provide enough space to begin addressing the injury in a more contained and meaningful way.
When Grief or Trauma Has Come Between You
Extended sessions can also be helpful when couples are dealing with grief or trauma.
Pregnancy loss, reproductive trauma, traumatic birth, serious illness, the death of someone you love, or another overwhelming experience can change the emotional connection between partners.
Often, both people are hurting but coping differently.
One reaches.
The other withdraws.
One needs to talk.
The other focuses on surviving the day.
Over time, the painful experience and the relationship can become intertwined.
Having more time allows us to slow down these differences, understand what each partner has been carrying, and begin helping you find each other again.
LEARN MORE ABOUT REPRODUCTIVE TRAUMA THERAPY
What a Couples Therapy Intensive Is—and Isn’t
A couples intensive is not a quick fix.
Spending more hours together in therapy does not mean that years of pain can be resolved in a day or a weekend.
It also does not guarantee that a couple will stay together.
The purpose is different.
An intensive creates a concentrated period in which we can understand the relationship more deeply, identify the patterns keeping you stuck, and begin creating different emotional experiences between you.
For some couples, concentrated work can create meaningful movement.
For others, it clarifies what additional work is needed.
The goal is to create enough time and space to do meaningful relationship work without constantly feeling that the clock is pushing us to stop.
Is a Couples Intensive Appropriate for Everyone?
No.
Before scheduling a full intensive, I want to understand your relationship and determine whether this format is clinically appropriate.
There are circumstances in which intensive couples work may not be the best place to begin.
Significant concerns involving safety, coercive control, active violence, severe untreated mental health difficulties, or other circumstances may require a different treatment plan or additional services.
The initial assessment is therefore not simply about deciding how many hours to schedule.
It is about determining what kind of therapeutic structure is most appropriate for your relationship.
How Do We Decide Which Format Is Right for Us?
You do not need to make that decision before contacting me.
We can consider what is happening in your relationship, what you hope to accomplish, your previous experience with therapy, your schedules, and how much time would be clinically useful.
A Standard Couples Session
May work well when you want consistent ongoing therapy and the issues you are addressing can be worked with comfortably within a regular session.
A 120-Minute Extended Session
May be a good choice when you want more room to work deeply, dislike stopping just as an important conversation develops, or have a particular issue that needs more time.
A Block of 2–3 Extended Sessions
May be appropriate when you want greater depth and continuity over a concentrated period without committing to a full intensive.
A Couples Therapy Intensive
May make sense when you want to dedicate a substantial amount of protected time to the relationship and more concentrated therapeutic work is clinically appropriate.
There is no inherently “better” format. The goal is to choose the structure that gives us enough time to do the work your relationship needs.
Extended and Intensive Couples Therapy Online
Extended couples therapy can also work well online.
For couples with demanding schedules or who do not live near my practice, online sessions make it possible to set aside substantial time for therapy without also adding travel.
I provide online couples therapy for eligible clients in Texas, New York, and PSYPACT-participating states.
For longer online sessions, privacy and the ability to participate without interruptions are particularly important.
Before scheduling an intensive, we will determine whether the format is clinically appropriate and whether I can provide the service based on your location.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ONLINE COUPLES THERAPY
Ready to Give Your Relationship More Time?
Sometimes what a couple needs is not another rushed conversation.
You may need enough time to slow down.
To understand what keeps happening between you.
To say something that has been difficult to say.
To hear something differently.
And to stay with the conversation long enough for something new to happen.
Whether that means a 120-minute extended session, a block of 2–3 extended sessions, or a more concentrated couples therapy intensive, we can determine together what format makes the most sense for your relationship.
Extended and intensive couples therapy available in person in The Woodlands/Houston area and online for eligible clients in Texas, New York, and PSYPACT states.