Hello, I’m Dr. Irena Milentijevic.
I have been a psychologist for nearly 30 years. I am licensed in Texas and New York and provide therapy in person in The Woodlands/Houston area and online throughout Texas, New York, and eligible PSYPACT states.
Over the years, I have sat with people during some of the most difficult periods of their lives—when relationships were falling apart, when grief changed everything, when families became painfully divided, and when women who had spent years caring for everyone else began asking difficult questions about their own lives.
After all this time, I still find it a privilege when someone trusts me enough to let me into the most private parts of their life.
I also know that choosing a psychologist is about more than credentials. You want to know something about the person you will be talking to.
So, here is a little about me.
My Story Began Long Before I Became a Psychologist
I grew up in the former Yugoslavia and studied psychology at the University of Belgrade.
More than 35 years ago, I immigrated to the United States and eventually made New York City my home.
Starting a life in another country changes you.
You become aware of things you once took for granted—how families communicate, what is expected of women and men, how emotions are expressed, what marriage means, and how generations relate to one another.
Those experiences have stayed with me throughout my life and career.
They are one reason I am particularly sensitive to people who live between cultures, couples from different backgrounds, and families in which different generations see the world very differently.
I don’t assume there is one correct way to build a marriage, raise a family, grieve, or live a meaningful life.
I want to understand your world first.
Becoming a Psychologist in New York
After coming to New York, I completed my doctorate in clinical psychology at Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology, at Yeshiva University in New York City.
My early professional training also took place in New York, including group psychotherapy at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital and parent-infant psychotherapy at the Columbia Psychoanalytic Center.
I worked with individuals, families, mothers and babies, and eventually more and more couples.
Looking back, I can see a thread running through all of it.
I was always interested in relationships.
What happens between people when they feel safe? What happens when they don’t? Why do we sometimes hurt the people we most desperately want to be close to?
Those questions have shaped much of my professional life.
My connection to New York has continued throughout my career. Today, I remain a New York-licensed psychologist and work online with clients throughout New York State, including New York City.
My Own Marriage Changed the Way I Practice
My commitment to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is not only professional.
Years ago, my own marriage went through a difficult period.
I knew a great deal about psychology by then. I was already an experienced psychologist. And yet knowing psychology did not make me immune to getting stuck in my own relationship.
That experience was humbling—and important.
I discovered EFT during that period, first personally and then professionally. It helped me understand what happens when the person who matters most to us suddenly feels emotionally unavailable.
We protect ourselves. Some of us become angry or critical. Others become defensive, quiet, or withdraw.
Underneath those reactions, there may be a much more vulnerable question:
Do I still matter to you?
Understanding that changed my own relationship. It also changed the psychologist I became.
I pursued extensive training in EFT and eventually became a Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist. I am now an EFT supervisor-in-training, working toward helping other therapists develop their skills in this approach.
What Nearly 30 Years of Practice Has Taught Me
When I was a younger psychologist, I probably thought good therapy depended largely on knowing the right theory and asking the right questions.
Experience has made my thinking both more sophisticated and, in some ways, simpler.
People need to feel understood before they can change.
Patterns that look dysfunctional often developed for understandable reasons.
Strength and vulnerability can exist in the same person.
People can love each other deeply and still hurt each other terribly.
And insight alone is not always enough.
You can understand exactly why you do something and still find yourself doing it again when you are frightened, hurt, rejected, or overwhelmed.
That is why my work tends to slow things down.
I want to understand not only what happened, but what happened inside you in the seconds before you reacted.
That is often where something important is waiting.
I Am Not a Silent Therapist
People sometimes wonder what I am actually like in a session.
I am warm, but I am also active.
I listen carefully, ask questions, notice patterns, and may slow you down when you are moving quickly past something important.
With couples, I may stop an argument and help each person understand what just happened underneath it.
At times I will challenge you, but I try to do that with respect and an understanding of why a particular way of coping may have developed.
I also bring humor into therapy when it belongs there. Therapy can involve tremendous pain, but it does not have to feel solemn every minute.
Most importantly, I want you to be able to be real with me.
You do not have to perform therapy correctly.
Working Across Cultures Has Changed Me Too
My own immigrant experience is part of this, but nearly three decades of working with people from different cultures, religions, family structures, sexual orientations, and life experiences has taught me something equally important:
Curiosity is more useful than assumption.
I can have expertise in psychology. I cannot be the expert on what it is like to be you.
Culture includes much more than ethnicity. It includes family, religion, gender expectations, immigration, generation, sexuality, socioeconomic experience, and the many rules we absorb about who we are supposed to be.
Sometimes therapy involves examining those rules and deciding which ones still belong to you.
Reproductive Trauma and Loss
Over the years, reproductive trauma and loss have become an important part of my work with women and couples.
I became particularly interested in what happens when grief and trauma affect not only the individual, but also the relationship. Partners can experience the same loss very differently and sometimes become disconnected precisely when they need each other most.
This intersection of trauma, grief, attachment, and intimate relationships has become an important part of both my clinical work and professional presentations.
Teaching Keeps Me Learning
I have always valued teaching and supervision alongside clinical practice.
Over the years, I have taught graduate students, supervised clinicians, advised dissertations, served in professional leadership roles, and presented at professional conferences, including several presentations for the Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance (PLIDA).
I have also been involved with the Houston Community for EFT and the New York Center for EFT and am currently pursuing the supervision pathway through ICEEFT.
Teaching and supervising keep me learning. They require me to explain why I do what I do—not simply rely on experience.
After nearly 30 years, I still believe a psychologist should continue learning.
How I See Therapy
I don’t see therapy as a place where I tell you how to live your life.
I have my own history, culture, relationships, successes, mistakes, and ways of seeing the world. You have yours.
My job is not to turn your life into mine.
It is to help you understand yourself and your relationships more clearly, recognize the patterns that keep you stuck, and create enough emotional space to make choices that feel genuinely yours.
Sometimes therapy is about healing.
Sometimes it is about grieving something that cannot be changed.
Sometimes it is about repairing a relationship—or accepting that a relationship cannot become what you hoped it would be.
And sometimes it is about finally asking:
What do I want now?
I continue to find those conversations meaningful.
Professional Background
- Licensed Psychologist – Texas
- Licensed Psychologist – New York
- Authorized to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) through PSYPACT
- Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist
- EFT Supervisor-in-Training
- Doctorate in Clinical Psychology – Yeshiva University, New York City
- B.A. in Psychology – University of Belgrade, Serbia
- Clinical Internship – Postgraduate Center for Mental Health, New York City
- Fellowship in Group Psychotherapy – St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, New York City
- Fellowship in Parent-Infant Psychotherapy – Columbia Psychoanalytic Center, New York City
Professional Affiliations
- International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
- New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy (NYCEFT)
- Houston Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy (HCEFT)
- Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance (PLIDA)
- American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)
Leadership, Teaching & Presentations
- Houston Community for EFT board service
- PLIDA presenter
- Former President, Montgomery County Psychological Association
- Clinical Supervisor and Dissertation Advisor
- Instructor in graduate psychology and nursing programs
- Professional presentations on couples therapy, attachment, reproductive trauma, pregnancy loss, and grief
Where I Practice
My practice is based in The Woodlands/Houston area, where I offer in-person appointments.
I am licensed in Texas and New York and provide online therapy throughout both states. Through PSYPACT, I can also provide telepsychology to eligible clients in participating states.
In person: The Woodlands/Houston area
Online: Texas and New York
Interstate telepsychology: Eligible PSYPACT states
If You Are Considering Working With Me
Finding the right therapist is personal.
You can read about someone’s training and experience, but ultimately you need to have some sense that you could sit across from that person and talk about things you may not talk about anywhere else.
If what you have read here resonates with you, I invite you to learn more about my work or contact me directly.